


Beware the Bored Reno

by Rebel_Atar



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, why did I write this I mean really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 16:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebel_Atar/pseuds/Rebel_Atar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An early morning at the office provides a bored Reno with much entertainment, and solves a little mystery about Tseng. Random genfic based on a bizarre conversation about Tseng. Not quite crackfic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beware the Bored Reno

Reno was early, in fact he was so early he was very, very late, he hadn't been to bed, not at night anyways, well not his own and certainly not to sleep.

It was half six in the morning. He had stumbled out in to the cloying Midgar air from some nondescript apartment complex at about six. Considering its proximity to the Shinra Inc. building and the fact that Tseng usually wanted them in between seven and half past anyways he had decided it would be easier to just go to work rather than go home. That way Tseng couldn't complain about him being late…again. Unfortunately the only other people in at this hour were security guards, cleaners, and over achieving pencil pushers who provided little to no entertainment.

So, understandably, Reno was slightly beyond bored right now. He had passed bored a little while back actually and was now heading towards being so mind numbingly devoid of excitement that he was considering clawing out his own eyeballs just to give him something to do.

Dressed in yesterday's suit somewhat covered with dried blood spatter and smelling of alcohol, stale smoke, and sex he was quite the site.

"Fuck. I'm starting to sober" He sat on his desk and scowled petulantly.

Deprived of chaos and sobering into what would probably be a hangover, Reno was heading towards a foul mood. He pushed himself off his desk and sauntered towards the break room.

"Coffee." He mused "Definitely need some coffee"

As he poured himself a cup of the thick black sludge preferred by the Turks he heard a couple of the cleaning ladies talking.

"Would you look at the boy, poor thing looks like he's been up all night. It happens far too often with this lot if you ask me. And would you look at how skinny he is, doesn't look like he's had a decent meal in his life. They work them too hard up here I'm telling you" One said.

The redhead snorted, trying not to laugh. These wizened old women always thought the best of him for some reason; maybe he just had one of those faces.

"I entirely agree Agnes, oh but it's not just him you now. You wouldn't believe what I saw earlier, oh let me tell you" the other said.

"Oh go on then Edna what's the gossip" said the one apparently called Agnes.

"Well I was cleaning the offices as usual and I was just about to get onto that nice Wutaian mans, what's he called again?"

"Tseng, Edna, his name's Tseng, lovely young man"

"Oh I know isn't he, so polite. Very particular about how he likes his office mind you." Continued Edna

Really?' Reno thought 'Tseng is a lovely young man! Do these old crows even know who they're talking about?'

"Well I opened the door and would you believe it there he was. Poor thing had fallen asleep on his couch, looked shattered, well they overwork them so much you know" she explained

"I know" agreed Agnes before they started to walk off, too far for the young Turk to hear.

"Heh, so Tseng spent the night in his office. Man needs to learn to relax" he mused heading back to his desk.

Tseng has left the previous night, trying to sort out the mess of Reno and Rude's most recent mission. Reno personally didn't see the problem. They completed the objective, what was wrong with having a little fun along the way, and chaos was always fun. However it was his boss who was left to deal with all the red tape left behind when the boys decided to blow things up.

After a night of diplomatic phone calls with undiplomatic people, mountains of paper work and not nearly enough coffee Tseng had collapsed on the couch in his office in the hope that he could get a couple of hours sleep before he had to deal with bureaucrats and Turks and a couple more before he had to deal with a redhead who was habitually late.

As Reno set his coffee down something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. He turned to examine the object. It was innocuous, nondescript, and yet it called to him.

Almost as if it had been sitting there waiting the entire time, waiting for him to notice, waiting for him to realise it's potential.

Reno grinned. It was a grin normally found on orange creatures with black stripes, and was commonly directed at the unfortunate beings who were about to see it from the inside.

It was the kind of grin that marked out the grinee as prey.

He grasped the object, shoved it in his pocket, and fled from the office he and Rude shared. Cackling through the hallways, spark reignited, boredom extinguished, target acquired.

He meandered his way across the floor, stealthily sneaking through office corridors.

He would have to be careful, this was Tseng we were talking about, this would take finesse, this would take... delicacy.

This was not a trait the redhead was generally known for; however in this particular instance, well, prank and general deviousness were not his areas of expertise for nothing.

He had to dive into a few offices to avoid the security guards who might alert Tseng to any suspicious redhead related activities.

Often he surprised the lower downs who instantly looked worried, they knew this, anything, involving this particular Turk could only end in trouble.

Finally he approached Tsengs door. He ducked behind the leaves of a potted palm tree. The redhead knew he shouldn't push his luck right now but the opportunity was too good to pass up.

He straightened up and tried the handle, the door was locked.

"Hmph, have to try harder than that boss-man to keep me out"

Reno took a couple of lock picks out of the inside of his jacket pocket and set to work. Five minutes later there was a click. He turned the handle and the door swung open a crack.

The redhead peered into the room. His target appeared to be asleep but you could never be sure,

"Tsengy...Tsengy-kins...wake up yo, your perfect shiny hair is on fire..." silence.

He nudged the door open further before drawing back sharply, peering his hear around the corner. Still nothing

Reno sat down with his back to the wall adjacent to Tseng's door and took his shoes off. There could be no noise.

He cautiously crept into the office and up to the couch. The redheaded Turk looked down at Tseng, grin positively manic.

He crouched down; fumbling with the object in his pocket, there was a click. Reno froze, but Tseng slept on, peaceful, oblivious. He let out a breath in relief.

The redhead lifted his arm in front of Tsengs face the muscles in his wrist flexing. He could smell the fumes from it. He knew he wouldn't get much but it'd be enough and it'd stay.

Reno struck.

With the feeling of damp and pressure on his skin, the head Turk's eyes snapped open.

A complicated twist of long, nimble legs unfolding in a leap before the younger Turk was sprinting down the hall way.

At the same time the Wutaian lunged towards his would be attacker, drawing his gun. Too late, he was gone.

Tseng frowned in confusion, touching a hand to his face. He turned, striding over to his office window and checked his reflection in the glass, focusing on his face.

Right there, a small black dot was now present, sitting in the middle of his forehead.

"RENO!"

Cackling all the way down the stairs, Reno fled. He glanced at the object; safe in the knowledge that no matter what Tseng did the dot was never coming off.

**'Permanent Marker'** © Hojo of Shinra Inc.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are delicious and keep this author going. They also help me improve my writing. Please review, constructive criticism is always welcome.


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